Eulogy – Poetry

5/6/21

What can I say about Jaila?

She was talented…

But troubled

She struggled most days to find meaning

And even when she smiled if you searched deep enough you could see the pain in her eyes

She got lost at a young age and never quite found her way back

She broke herself loving those that showed they would never love her in the same way

She was depressed most of her life

But there were moments when things appeared to be improving

There were moments she experienced pure joy

But it wasn’t enough,

To her, the bad outweighed the good

To her, the only solution to be free from misery was to end it all

She knew her time was near and made peace with her decision

If only she’d realized all she left behind

All the people she crushed with her demise

How could someone with so much going for themselves throw it all away?

To know I’ll never get to see those big brown eyes again

Or listen to her words of wisdom

Damn, I thought she was healing

I wish I could’ve saved her

I wish she would’ve held on

And now that she’s gone,

There’s so much I wish I could say to her

Like, how I loved her through all her flaws

Or, how I always knew what she was worthy of even when she couldn’t see it

I’ll miss the way her eyes light up when she talks about something that excites her

And how her cheekbones pop when she smiles

I’ll miss the way she’d take off her shoes just to step into the pair of another

Just to feel someone else’s pain…

The way she cared for every person in this room is something that can’t be replaced

Jaila,

The sun that always rises again

The planted flowers that blossom again every spring

The tree that displays years of damage and yet still stands firmly

The light of my life

I’m not ready to say goodbye

So instead I’ll pretend you’ve gone away for awhile

And I’ll wait patiently for your return

Until we meet again.

Photo by Mathias P.R. Reding on Unsplash

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