I Survived Multiple Suicide Attempts

My first suicide attempt was when I was in middle school. I’d spent most of my time there being severely bullied, met the first boy I ever loved (who broke my heart), and my home life was a disaster. This is also around the time I began self-harming. After this attempt, I went on to […]

Eulogy – Poetry

5/6/21 What can I say about Jaila? She was talented… But troubled She struggled most days to find meaning And even when she smiled if you searched deep enough you could see the pain in her eyes She got lost at a young age and never quite found her way back She broke herself loving […]

What It’s Like Being In A Psychiatric Hospital

I was blinded by the white lights as soon as I opened my eyes. I knew immediately where I was: the hospital. Here I was again after another failed suicide attempt. By this point, I knew the routine so well. Nurses would come in poking me with needles, doctors would ask me a million questions […]

Recovering From A Suicide Attempt

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you’d know that I’ve had multiple suicide attempts this year. Shit got dark quickly. Two of these attempts were just a few days apart and the third one was a few weeks later. Even after my hospitalization, I wasn’t ok. Most days I felt stuck and […]

3/15/20 – Journal Entry

Today feels like…waking up to the sun telling me good morning. Today feels like…Erykah Badu on repeat. Today feels like…dancing around the kitchen in my pajamas. Today feels like… the smell of fresh coffee brewing. Today feels like…sitting alone in meditation. Today feels like…recovery after a failed suicide attempt. Today feels like…hope. Today feels like…joy. […]