10/25/18
I’m in a period of transformation that scares me. I’m learning, slowly, to love myself in the same way I’ve loved others. I’e loved me so deeply it nearly killed me. I’ve loved women so beautiful in my eyes, I was certain I’d make them my wife. And each of them took a piece of me I gave away so carelessly.
This period of growth is me, unpacking the bags they left at the front door. It’s me, letting myself back in. I’m allowing myself to be happy. But… I still check myself when I’m “too happy”… that’s when the bad shit happens, right?
I’m afraid of allowing myself to just be.
Be happy. Be emotional. Be wrong. Be in love. Be alone. Be full. Be present. Be still.
I’m learning how to be still and enjoying my own presence. Something I ran from for years. I wasn’t comfortable with myself. Most days, I’m still not. But I’m learning. I’m trying.
And… the woman I’m growing to be, she enjoys alone time.
Create time for silence.
I know we’re all living busy, productive lives: working, going to school, taking care of family, etc.
Create time for silence.
Even if it’s just while you’re using the bathroom. Put your electronics down, tune the world out for a minute, and sit with yourself.
Take care!
ItsJaiMarie 