The Art of Letting Go

Letting go is something I have always struggled with. For years, I’ve held on to painful memories and allowed things that happened in the past to rule my life. I’ve bandaged up my wounds but never truly allowed them to heal. This has made finding peace of mind difficult and made it hard to maintain relationships. 

Since beginning my healing journey, I’ve come to understand the power of letting go. Letting go isn’t something that happens quickly. It often takes time, patience, and a lot of difficult work. 

Holding on to what no longer serves us only causes us to suffer. You may be holding on to things you experienced when you were younger or a situation that occurred last year. Whatever it is, the freedom you’ll receive from moving on is worth learning how to let go.

It’s not easy to master the art of letting go but allowing yourself to heal can greatly improve your quality of life. 

9 Ways to Master the Art of Letting Go

1. Allow Yourself to Feel

You have to feel in order to heal. When it comes to learning how to let go, it’s important to sit with your feelings. Acknowledge them and take time to process them. Eventually, you’ll need to work on releasing your feelings as well. 

If you need to cry and fall apart, allow yourself to do that. Don’t try to force yourself to bottle up what you’re feeling, let it out. 

If you’re grieving a loss, let it hurt. If it’s a loss caused by someone’s death, this isn’t something you can just simply move on from. It’ll take time before you feel ok again and that pain of losing this person will probably always be there.

If you’re grieving the loss of a relationship, grieve, let it hurt, then let it go. 

2. Forgive

Forgiveness is something I still struggle with. I often find myself triggered by what someone has done to me in the past and becoming upset again. When we don’t forgive others for their wrongdoing, it can haunt us.

Forgiving someone is something you do for yourself. While forgiveness is vital for healing, don’t feel like it’s required to achieve peace. 

If you want to forgive a person, do it in your own time. Also keep in mind that just because you forgive someone, doesn’t mean you have to reconnect with them.

Another way to practice forgiveness is by forgiving yourself. I’ve said things and acted in ways over the years that I’m ashamed of. In healing, I’ve had to learn how to practice self-forgiveness. 

3. Practice Acceptance

Much like forgiveness, accepting what is can be difficult. You may spend a great chunk of your time wishing things had turned out differently or that you could go back to the past and make changes. 

A part of letting go is accepting things for what they are. 

4. Focus on the Present

Instead of living in the past or worrying about the future, focus on the present moment. To do this, start practicing mindfulness. 

Mindfulness is about being conscious of your thoughts, emotions, and experiences. It involves being aware of the present. Some ways you can be more mindful are by practicing mindfulness meditation, journaling, and practicing grounding. 

For more ways to be mindful, check out this blog post. 

5. Focus on What You’ll Gain

Letting go can offer many benefits like freedom and better mental health. Whatever you’re needing to let go of, begin to look at what you’ll gain from releasing yourself from the hold it has on you. 

Focus on all the good things happening to you instead of what you may have lost. This is also a great time to practice gratitude.

6. Make the Decision to Move On

You have to make the conscious, deliberate decision to let go and move on. Deciding to release what you’ve been holding on to is hard and often painful, but what hurts worse is remaining in the vicious cycle of holding on to what no longer serves you. 

7. Don’t Expect An Apology

One reason I continuously held on to experiences and people was that I was waiting for closure. Once I began healing from my last relationship, I realized I needed to accept that I would never receive closure or an apology from my ex. It took a while, but I eventually made peace with that.

Choosing to wait for an apology that may never come is like torturing yourself. Give yourself permission to release your need for closure and move forward knowing it’s not needed to heal. 

8. Distance Yourself 

When it comes to letting go of a person, it’s best to distance yourself from them. This may include removing them from social media, blocking their number, and deleting all reminders of them from your phone. 

It may be tempting to check up on them but you do yourself a disservice by keeping up with what they’re doing. 

Distancing yourself from them allows room for healing. 

9. Shower Yourself With Love

Self-love will save you every time. Now that you’re beginning to move forward, it’s time to start doing more of what brings you joy. This could look like trying a new hobby, taking yourself on dates, or reciting affirmations every morning. 

Choose to love yourself as you go through this difficult process. 

Letting Go Is Hard

The art of letting go is something we all need to learn. Sometimes, it feels like it’s easier to hold on than it is to let go but by doing this, you’re only hurting yourself. It takes great strength to decide you’re going to make a change. It also takes patience. You won’t feel better overnight, but over time, you’ll begin releasing your excess baggage. 

Trust that you will be ok. It’ll take time and it’s something you have to stay committed to. 

Give yourself permission to heal and live the life you deserve. 

Photo by Darina Belonogova: https://www.pexels.com/photo/close-up-photo-of-woman-with-flowers-on-her-hair-7193067/