10/4/18 – Untitled (Poetry)

Posted on by itsjaimarie

10/4/18

I need healing.

My journal no longer claims me; even she has no answers

And…

Writing poetry feels forced now.

I need healing…

And my pens running out of ink.

I need healing from the same demons that were there at age 4 and 5 and again at 11, 12, 13, and 19.

Dissociating because the trauma is too much

I need healing because I’m unable to let myself be happy.

I need healing because some days it feels like I’m doing nothing more than filling space.

I’m existing, physically,

While mentally I’m floating.

I am not ok and every time I open my mouth to ask for help,

My language is foreign and judgmental eyes pierce through my being.

I need healing because I’m no longer me…

Whoever I used to be…

One thought on “10/4/18 – Untitled (Poetry)”

  1. Healing will come from Jesus Christ who says, “Come, and I will give you rest..” Jesus knows about all you’ve been through and are going through daily. He has the answers to your cares. Only He can heal you and inspire you without being judgmental, because He cares for you and loves you. Talk to him just like you would talk to anyone else. And be yourself not what you think he may want you to be when you talk to him. Try Him! Grandma Donna

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Published by itsjaimarie

Jai Marie is a freelance writer and blogger from Indiana. As a child, she’d lock herself in her room and spend hours writing in her notebook. She started out journaling, writing music, and poetry. While Jai continues to write in these areas, she also explores other niches, such as short story creation and blogging. She also offers writing services under the name J.M. Writes. The itsjaimarie blog was started as a way for Jai to express her creativity and inspire others. It's grown into a platform focused on spreading mental health awareness and discussing different aspects of spirituality. Aside from writing, she loves listening to true crime podcasts, communing with nature, and meditating with her crystals.