When talking about grief, many only discuss grieving what has transitioned in the physical sense. There’s very little conversation about the kinds of losses that don’t come with funerals or grief in other forms, such as grieving the ending of a relationship, whether romantic, platonic, or familial. Grieving a past version of oneself, or letting go of the life you thought you’d be living. There are many forms of grief – all of them painful in their own way.
As I finally start to grieve and accept the ending of my two closest friendships, I am left with so many thoughts, feelings, and memories. I am left wondering if walking away was the right decision. Maybe it’s the pain surfacing, but there are days when I miss my sisters. Yet, as I reflect on the last few months of my relationships with them, I feel both sorrow and anger over the way I was treated. Over the way they stopped showing up. Over the way my energy + effort weren’t reciprocated. Over the quiet ache of feeling unvalued. I chose to silently walk away because staying in a space where those connections no longer felt aligned wasn’t serving me. I don’t necessarily regret my decision; a part of me just wishes there could have been a different outcome.
As I focus on truly accepting + letting go, I think I’ll begin opening myself up to cultivating new friendships.
These are some affirmations I’ve been journeying with:
- I release what no longer serves me and make space for what is in alignment with my life.
- I am whole with or without anyone else.
- In tending to my grief, I remember that I am deserving of love and authentic connection.
- I hold gratitude for every soul who has walked with me, even when our paths were meant to part.
ItsJaiMarie 