7/13/20 – Poetry

Posted on by itsjaimarie

When I think of how I’ll meet my demise

I know I’ll either die by suicide or from alcohol poisoning

See, I search for happiness at the end of a liquor bottle every chance I get

And…I’ve attempted to take my life more times than I care to admit\

So for me, it’s not a question of how but when

Will depression win?

I’m boxing with demons and right now they have the upper hand

I’m searching for something but I’m not quite sure it exists

I’m missing pieces of myself that I’ve given away to past lovers

And at this point, I’m uncertain as to whether I’ll ever recover

I wonder what death is like,

I’m suicidal and at the same time I’m scared to die

I’m suffocating in thoughts of the afterlife

And if what I’ve been taught is right…

I’ll be burning with the devil, riddled with regret for the sins I’ve committed

Like being gay…

Like losing my virginity at such a young age I’m not even sure I consented…but I didn’t say no

I want more out of life than just living to die

I want to be free…

I crave peace

Something only I can give myself

 

Photo by Mike on Unsplash

2 thoughts on “7/13/20 – Poetry”

  1. So beautifully drenched in imagery and emotion. Nice work! I love your poetry about the Self. Are you on HelloPoetry.com? If not, check it out! I think you might enjoy it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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Published by itsjaimarie

Jai Marie is a freelance writer and blogger from Indiana. As a child, she’d lock herself in her room and spend hours writing in her notebook. She started out journaling, writing music, and poetry. While Jai continues to write in these areas, she also explores other niches, such as short story creation and blogging. She also offers writing services under the name J.M. Writes. The itsjaimarie blog was started as a way for Jai to express her creativity and inspire others. It's grown into a platform focused on spreading mental health awareness and discussing different aspects of spirituality. Aside from writing, she loves listening to true crime podcasts, communing with nature, and meditating with her crystals.