4/24/22 – Poetry

Posted on by itsjaimarie

I don’t feel pretty.

Most days I struggle to accept what I deem as flaws,

I pick apart the way I look every time I stare at my reflection in the mirror,

And at night, I pray to GOD that when the sun rises,

I’ll get a glimpse of how it feels to be beautiful.

I hide behind layers of makeup because my reality is far too ugly to face.

I don’t feel pretty.

So I constantly compare myself to women on social media,

Wondering what I need to do to be like them.

Maybe if my teeth were straighter,

Or my hair was longer,

Or maybe if I were just a few pants sizes smaller,

I would know what it feels like to love myself.

I don’t feel pretty.

And it started during my childhood,

I was constantly compared to my older sister who’s everything I’ve ever wanted to be.

It left me swimming in insecurities,

And wondering why I wasn’t good enough.

I tell myself that I’ll find self-love when I’m able to change a few things,

But I know the truth is,

If I don’t accept myself exactly as I am right now,

It won’t matter what I change.

I’ll still pick apart my flaws,

Wishing that I looked differently.

I don’t feel pretty most days.

But every now and then,

I look in the mirror and I love my imperfections.

Photo by Inga Gezalian on Unsplash

4 thoughts on “4/24/22 – Poetry”

  2. I’ve always hated my fair skin. I wanted a deeper olive tone. That I couldn’t change. I did change my nose in my 20’s and I was very happy with it. Now as a mature woman in my 50’s I wish I hadn’t done it. I think the world of my fathers mother and by giving myself a new nose, I look less like her. I think Kim Kardashian is beautiful looking but I’m the furthest thing from her. My face is long and I don’t care for that either. I don’t like my ‘type’ but I am trying to look better by losing weight. Few women think they are beautiful enough is what a good friend once told me.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your experience. I feel like we all have things we wish we could change. I’m also on a weight loss journey. Sometimes we have to accept ourselves exactly as we are even while working to make changes.

      Liked by 1 person

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Published by itsjaimarie

Jai Marie is a freelance writer and blogger from Indiana. As a child, she’d lock herself in her room and spend hours writing in her notebook. She started out journaling, writing music, and poetry. While Jai continues to write in these areas, she also explores other niches, such as short story creation and blogging. She also offers writing services under the name J.M. Writes. The itsjaimarie blog was started as a way for Jai to express her creativity and inspire others. It's grown into a platform focused on spreading mental health awareness and discussing different aspects of spirituality. Aside from writing, she loves listening to true crime podcasts, communing with nature, and meditating with her crystals.