I experience peace in the shower.

Although I break down and sob..

it is the greatest feeling

because I let down my wall.

Mom’s been drinking.

And my brother

spends his evenings in the garage.

So I am alone.

Pulling my knees up to my breasts..

droplets of water attack my face.

Sometimes I think about how this is similar

to movie scenes.

This is home.

I struggle every day with mixed emotions..

as hard as I try to block out the negativity..

Some days the bad outweighs the good.

Every night before bed I go home.

Climbing into the tub and sinking ..away..away.

I turned the knob left

until it couldn’t go any farther ..

It’s as if pins and needles are being stuck into my back.

I take it though, just like I take everything else.

This is home…

Where I release what I lock away throughout the day.

Once the storm is over ..

I face the mirror, the makeup I applied hours before

Runs down my face.

I know that I am okay.