Lessons 2020 Has Taught Me

2020 has been an extremely difficult year for most of us. We’re dealing with a pandemic, experiencing severe trauma and loss, the list goes on and on. While this year has been shitty, it has taught me some valuable lessons. Lessons I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I went through […]

What It’s Like Being In A Psychiatric Hospital

I was blinded by the white lights as soon as I opened my eyes. I knew immediately where I was: the hospital. Here I was again after another failed suicide attempt. By this point, I knew the routine so well. Nurses would come in poking me with needles, doctors would ask me a million questions […]

2/23/20 – Journal Entry

Trigger warning: Suicide I recently got released from the hospital after being admitted because of two back to back suicide attempts. I overdosed both times. I’m not ok and it’ll probably be a while before I am again. But I’m no longer suicidal so that counts for something. During my first attempt, I was drunk. […]

Surviving 2019

It’s the end of 2019 and with the new year quickly approaching I’ve been spending time reflecting. I’ve been thinking about all of my accomplishments from this year. There’s one that stands out more than all the others; I survived. Since 2012 I’ve had at least one suicide attempt each year. 2019 was the first […]

Bipolar Disorder vs. Depression

When I was 11 or 12, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder (MDD). At the time, this diagnosis seemed accurate but as the years passed, it seemed that something more was wrong. I switched therapists and psychiatrists countless times and they all said the same thing. My mom also voiced her concerns to them, […]