11/28/20 – Poetry

Some days I hate myself. I hate who I see when I stare in the mirror I say to myself, “If I just lost a little weight, I’d love myself.” I pick apart my flaws and I pray that by morning I’ll be pretty Growing up I was deemed “the ugly sibling” and I’ve been […]

Why I’m Practicing Celibacy

I’ve been celibate for 100 days. For me, this is a huge accomplishment. For as long as I can remember, I’ve used sex as a way to cope with my pain. For me, it was easier to just fuck it all away. Sometimes it helped but other times I’d be left lying there in a […]

Recovering From A Suicide Attempt

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you’d know that I’ve had multiple suicide attempts this year. Shit got dark quickly. Two of these attempts were just a few days apart and the third one was a few weeks later. Even after my hospitalization, I wasn’t ok. Most days I felt stuck and […]

Types of Bipolar Disorder

When I was first diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder, I was overwhelmed with a range of emotions. On one hand, I felt relieved to finally have a proper diagnosis. On the other hand, I was pissed at every psychiatrist and therapist who refused to listen to me and missed the signs. Once I pulled myself […]

A Journey to Self-Love

I don’t love myself. Hell, most days I don’t even like myself. Growing up I struggled with low self-esteem and at one point I had a deep hatred for myself. If you’d asked me back then how I described myself, words like hideous, fat, devil, monster, and idiot came to mind. I couldn’t even look […]