I was recently kind of rejected by someone I realized I still care for deeply. Why I still care about her is something I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out. This is someone who literally slammed the door in my face when I was locked out of my apartment, leaving me out in the cold with no phone and no way to contact anyone. Someone who treated me like dirt on the bottom of their shoe. Someone who at one point earlier this year was sweating me heavy. Someone I now just want to forget about. We got back in touch and at first, I thought we could possibly be friends but I realized with the history between us that would most likely be impossible. She made it clear we were only going to be friends and to me, this felt like rejection because I realized there’s a part of me that still feels something for her.
When I sit here and think about why I still have feelings for her my mind comes up blank. What is special about her? What has she done for me besides causing me heartache?
During my daily meditation, I was reminded that rejection is divine protection. What felt like rejection to me, happened for a reason. I know that I am always, all the time divinely protected so I’m not going to question why certain things don’t work out the way I want them to. I know deep inside she isn’t someone I’d want to be with long-term and that what feels good in the moment will likely fade.
Being rejected, whether it’s by a person you’re interested in, a job, or something else, fucking hurts. It makes you question your worth and why you’re not good enough. Truth is, you are more than enough and that path just wasn’t the one you’re supposed to walk.
Too often when I’m faced with rejection I automatically wonder why I’m not worthy in that person’s eyes. I’m still learning all that matters is that I recognize my worth. Everyone doesn’t deserve access to you. Stop giving people multiple opportunities to disrespect you. I’m walking about from her and this situation for good this time.
A few affirmations to carry with you:
- I am divinely protected.
- I am everything I need. I am whole with or without anyone else.
- I love and accept myself exactly as I am right now.