I need healing.
My journal no longer claims me; even she has no answers
Writing poetry feels forced now.
I need healing…
And my pens running out of ink.
I need healing from the same demons that were there at age 4 and 5 and again at 11, 12, 13, and 19.
Disassociating because the trauma is too much
I need healing because I’m unable to let myself be happy.
I need healing because some days it feels like I’m doing nothing more than filling space.
I’m existing, physically,
While mentally I’m floating.
I am not ok and every time I open my mouth to ask for help,
My language is foreign and judge-mental eyes pierce through my being.
I need healing because I’m no longer me…
Whoever I used to be…