I’ve been driving for the past two hours, music blasting, no destination as thoughts of the events that transpired earlier this evening consume my mind. I should have killed them. In a matter of hours my life as I’d known it, was falling apart. How could he? How could she? How could they?
Red light… brake Kim, brake. Images flash, I’m fresh off work, unlocking the front door. I take off my shoes and my stomach is doing flips, I haven’t eaten since this morning. Dinner, I’ll cook dinner.
Thump! I’m startled by a noise. My husband, Devin, is still at work and our daughter, Kamia called me earlier to ask if she could stay the night at her friend’s house. Intruder… I quickly grab the gun I keep stashed in one of the cabinets towering over the stove all while dialing 911. The operator speaks and I inform him that someone is in my home. I’m careful as to not be too loud. The thumps get louder as I approach the top of the stairs. That’s when I hear it. My heart stops at the familiar sounds of the bed squeaking. I open the door and Devin’s bare ass is all I see. I scream, firing a shot at the wall.
“Ma’am, is everything alright?” The operator questions.
“Send the police,” I respond hanging up. My gun is still pointed, my mind says kill them but my body stays still.
“K…Kim let me explain,” Devin panics.
I’m silent. What the fuck Kim, kill them. I can’t speak or move. That’s when I see her. My sister. Blood sister. Twin sister. She was trying to hide her face but the butterfly tattoo on her right arm gave it away.
“You dirty bitch!” I cry as I plunge toward the bed. Fuck the gun, this was personal. I get two hits and four kicks in before Devin manages to pry me away from her. I’m punching and kicking, scratching and biting. My 5’4, 130 pounds is nothing against his 6’2 frame.
Hoooonk! I snap back to the present moment. The light had changed. Go Kim. I see a McDonald’s and decide to pull over. Pulling out my phone I realize I have 50 missed calls and 20 messages. Of course, they’re all from Devin although I expected my sister to at least attempt to reach me. But she hadn’t. As I sat, searching for someone to call, I realized there was no one. I invested all these years into this marriage with a man who I believed loved me. I’m sure at one point he did but it was evident that love had died. My hearts raging with anger until sadness creeps up. The tears fall and I let them. While the brokenness screams out to me “kill them”. I had a child to think about. He had a child, a marriage, and family to think about. She had a sisterhood to think about. None of that stopped either of them. I needed to weigh out my options.
Grrrr… My thoughts are interrupted by the sounds of my stomachs cries of hunger. Since I was already there I decided to order a large fry and mcdouble. Realizing I forgot a drink, I decide to stretch my legs and go inside. Right before I pull the door open, I hear her.
“Kim!” She yells.
I freeze, it’s Kia, my sister. I quickly turn and notice she was smart enough to keep her distance. I charge towards her.
“W…wait! Please…p—“was all she managed to get out as I swung at her, my fist landing on her mouth. She yelled out in pain while cupping her hands to her mouth. Blood was gushing. It was early in the morning and no one was around aside from the McDonald’s employees inside. I grabbed a fist full of her braids, dragging her to my car.
We sat quietly for about 10 minutes and thoughts of ending her life resurfaced. Turning to look at her, she keeps her head down but I know she can feel my glare.
“Look at me dammit.” I wanted her to see the hurt in my eyes.
And I see the regret in hers.
“How long? How long has this been going on,” I questioned. I give her two minutes to answer and when she doesn’t I wrap my hands around her neck. “Get to talking or I’ll tighten my grip.” I say through clenched teeth.
“T… two years.” She stutters.
I’m choking her. I feel the death grip I have on her neck but I can’t stop. I feel her struggling to break free. Then the movement stops. I release my hands, zoning back in.
“We were born as other halves. No one will ever come between Kim and Kia,” I cried. We had said those very words numerous times throughout the years. That’s all they ever were, just words.
“Kia?” I whisper even though I knew she was gone.
She ruined my life so I had to make her pay, Devin was next. I spent the next hour mapping out my plan. I wanted Devin to suffer just as Kia had. There would be no painless deaths. Afterwards I’d dispose of both bodies, pack a few bags for Kamia and me, and hit the road. Kamia was old enough to understand the basics of relationships and right from wrong. Yet, as I put together my plan, I couldn’t figure out what I’d say to her.