I experience peace in the shower.
Although I break down and sob..
it is the greatest feeling
because I let down my wall.
Mom’s been drinking.
And my brother
spends his evenings in the garage.
So I am alone.
Pulling my knees up to my breasts..
droplets of water attack my face.
Sometimes I think about how this is similar
to movie scenes.
This is home.
I struggle every day with mixed emotions..
as hard as I try to block out the negativity..
Some days the bad outweighs the good.
Every night before bed I go home.
Climbing into the tub and sinking ..away..away.
I turned the knob left
until it couldn’t go any farther ..
It’s as if pins and needles are being stuck into my back.
I take it though, just like I take everything else.
This is home…
Where I release what I lock away throughout the day.
Once the storm is over ..
I face the mirror, the makeup I applied hours before
Runs down my face.
I know that I am okay.